Home --- this is the poem I performed (with some corrections, adjustments and embellishments not featured in this text version) at the Just Poetry Slam last night. I went first, which is always a nightmare...



You’ve never really known love until

You’ve seen your own eyes, so still

Reflected, brilliant, in your child’s gaze.

And in these eyes within that gaze,

The maze of your crazed universe is at peace

And love is all that remains.

I held my stare, scared that even this light might not tell me where to go

To extinguish all the pain, delusion and anguish that impaired me so…

But as I came to, I breathed my answer:

Maybe home is where



The sun was blazing in our backs

As we set sailing to the West,

And we left failures and solitude, sadness and all the rest

To build a home sweet home away from all the drone.

Bundled in a cozy blanket by the fire,

Hunting game and cutting chunky meat to dine on,

Jumping in and out of rivers, climbing tall branches

fixing small lunches, digging long trenches, taking our chances…



I just thought he’d been out berry picking…

There! He’s screaming, sinking, flailing!

I rescue him.

He’s cold, I hold him tight.

He panics, yells in fright,

“I don’t wanna go back home! I hate home! It’s cold and dark and empty!”

And in this moment, our bodies clutching,

I realize that my mind had devised a disguise

And divine that my heart should define the answer,

Love! Love is all we need, and I breathed,

Maybe home is where the heart is



Indelibly, I etched this mantra thick

And deep, the soul-filled air exuding strength.

And every moment stretched beyond a flick

And of sleep, hugs and kisses all, we drank.

I cooked for him, and sang for hime,

And gifts, games, walks, sights, love and more love,

I showered all on him.

Jumped around, acted a clown,

Gave him piggyback rides, matched his strides,

Whispered funny things in his ear, pretended to disappear…

No two days could stay the same.

My love for him is all I could claim.



They say it’s the worst pain anyone will ever suffer…

He lies there, frozen, neither dozing, crying nor posing.

As I hold him, tired and sinking, fire is dwindling, ire is swelling, I die and…

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!



Crass calamity, crafted infamy, blasted enmity,

The last ignominy of passed infirmity!

The fates be warned, awake and learn:

I fake a mourning to bait and fool you!

For now I see through it all!

Home is where the heart is given up!

Death and suffering is just math and cluttering;

One thousand deaths is a statistic, one death is a tragedy.

Call me bereft or sadistic – all that’s left is this strategy.

Laugh at me, clap for me, I don’t care,

All I see is you and me, him and her.

Surely you’ll understand why I have succumbed

And become comfortably numb…

The price of love is your heart – I am now debt-free!

The vessel has been emptied and turned upside down;

All grace and misery burn or drown as far as I’m concerned!

And if this gathering wishes,

This can be the end of my tale.



Why not!!

Why!!!

Because I’m empty!? What’s so wrong with being empty!?



I have heard the words, and now I see,

Empty though I thought I was, in truth,

I was full of thoughts of heresy

(What is more heretic and uncouth

Than conviction that I’m in control?)

Life was never where, but how I seek.

Souls are never solaced when unmoved.

All we learn from what our lives enfold

Comes from scorching heat and breaking cold,



For then alone we truly turn to the One…

The One we call the Friend,

The One we call beauty, transcendence, God,

What else?



So…

Maybe home is where the heart is given up to the One

Terrace --- How many times can someone have the time of his life?!?



Love is all around! Having the day off for Naw Ruz was beautiful! I just love having a chance to chant the Long Healing Prayer - it's the prayer that makes me feel the closest to God!



LSA on Wed was really awesome - it's incredible how much I feel the institution is growing! We got lots of challenges on our hands, for sure, especially for this new "Richmond Year for the Protection of Children", so I hope we will keep progressing at least as quickly as we have been. Choir was also very nice.



Thu Robbie and I were playing ping pong right next to another pair of cool cats, so we offered to swap and play each other. It turns out we're all around the same level of play, so it was extremely gratifying for all of us!





We had another play practice for "In His Presence" at the Connor home. We ate a delicious dinner together and moved on to a series of theatrical excercises I prepared, which they all seem to love to pieces! We're now sufficiently in tune to one another to move on to the very important step of lining up all the scene work and really putting this show together - only four more weeks!!! Prayers would be most appreciated. Just this morning I saw Niki's Easter musical about the life of Christ (Niki's my co-worker). It was so beautiful, powerful, and harmonious that I was crying pretty much the whole way through. It's so extraordinary to get the opportunity to connect to Christ my Lord in a new way! Niki is a wonderful singer! I'll have to make sure to incorporate some of the elements of spiritual integrity and collaborative energy that "The Borrowed Tomb" had!





I went to a special gathering of French-speaking people, organized by the Richmond French Club! Sherry and I were there together. It was such a very nice group of people! There was a great variety of experiences in the language, but one thing that really stood out for me was the open-mindedness of these people. Hanging out with a bunch of people who have traveled outside the country for extensive periods, and are actively engaged in learning about different cultures brought out again the contrast between the closed-mindedness and isolationist/compartmentalizing philosophy of this country and the outward-looking orientation that this age of humanity requires... watchou gonna do?



I've had still more dreams about Martinique and pioneering. I spoke with Ariana at the National Office of Pioneering, who helped me out with some steps of the process. I met with the LSA, too, to discuss my plans and get them to send a recommendation to the national office. I'm still praying for guidance and open to new opportunities, but my current status is "planning to pioneer to Martinique in the Fall". I'd like to produce/direct Shawn's play before I head out.





Well, we've done it again, with my friends in Baltimore... I am so extremely enamored of these beautiful souls. I honestly think about them all of the time! And every visit only strengthens my love for them... Nina's best friends, Caity, who is to a large extent the reason I got so close to the lot of them, was visiting town from New Jersey, so I took the opportunity to join them all. I got there mid-day Sat, and we had a scruptuous Indian lunch together, with fantastic chats on many spiritual matters. We visited an unusually snazzy vintage store, then I spent the bulk of the afternoon serving as Nina's personal assistant at the screen-printing lab. It was incredible! I learned every step of the process! Nina is an inspired and dedicated hard-worker!



Our evening program was probably as good as it could have been! For starters, we got together at Jacobs to make a big ol' dinner together, and sharing a most convivial fellowship. The gathering was composed of Jacob, Nina, Caity, Nikki, Ruth, Adarsh, Omid and myself - and Sally joined us later. It was a very intimate and comfortable group, which was exactly what we needed for what we were to do:



Poetry: after beautiful Arabic chanting offered by Caity, I performed "Home", which I am entering at the Just Poetry Slam tomorrow, then Caity shared a couple of her own pieces.



Energy: Nikki lead us in a session of energy-focus, where were learned to concentrate on our 7 chakras, and breathe in the energy of the universe (or, rather, be aware that we already do). This energy was first used to create a ball of energy between our hands, then we stood in a circle and passed the energy around. We were also all sharing how it felt to experience this energy, and learned from each other. It was fascinating tuning into the energy signature of each person!



Deepening: I had an idea on how we might all consult on how we can go about connecting ourselves to God by relating our personal experiences to "The Seven Valleys" - Baha'u'llah's exposé on the various steps along the journey of the soul, as it advances toward the Beloved.



At this point we had a session of singing many beautiful prayers.



The Nikki & danio Show! Nikki and I used our super power to perform a celebration of sponteneity.

Drastic --- Yo yo yo!! I had three dreams about pioneering last week! None of them told me where I need to go, though. I saw Alex Donote from Martinique. He was visiting here for a series of play that I was attending, so I asked him how the theatre scene was in Martinique, and found out general info about what's going on down there. In another dream I was trying to get into China, but they wouldn't let me in because I didn't have $4... There's one girl that got in for $1! I even tried sneaking in with my mad spy skills and my tight black suit (you should've seen how buff I was!), but I ended up at the same customs spot, and was denied again, so I ended up in the giant indoor park, walking around with friends and hearing about the birthing of pharaos ensuing from rape by a long haired pretty-boy. Then mages (members of "The Chamber") invaded the island, with war and magic, until one of them turned kamikaze at the top of the tower, and merged with the town chief into a giant dragon who went off to summon a "double-stunami". At this point, I went to the spot where the scary-faced, giant-jawed stunami was to hit except that Chrono (from the video game Chrono Trigger) hit the shiny jewel with his sword, which cancelled the tsunami. But right before the sword hit, since everything was in slow-mo except me, I got to check out the hotel lobby and other sets of the movie, which was kind of cool...



I'm not supposed to know, but my friend Sneha just declared (herself a Baha'i) last night, which actually made me cry for joy! I can't wait to visit them all (Baltimore friends) next weekend.



We had our first play practice for "In His Presence" on Saturday, which was a lot of fun, as well as highly encouraging. It's so amazing to work on a play that's explicitly spiritual in orientation!



I'm a gangsta!



Bea and Ralph Wiggins brought a CD of Brian's music (their son) to Feast tonight, which was really awesome! There are 5 CDs total, which I plan to purchase. He past... gosh... over six months ago now. He was the primary person to motivate me to learn to play myself! Some months ago I got to make him a hot meal, like he used to ask me when I'd go over to visit with him... I miss him.



Holy Smokes!! The Naw Ruz (New Year) party was super-radical! We had such a blast. The Cook family was sorely missed, though - their presence was very felt on the occasion last year. Our choir finally performed the beautiful song entitled "He Verily Loveth the Spot". It's got all kinds of overlapping parts and lyrics that make a surreal harmony, both intriguing and enchanting. We reportedly pulled it off alright. I danced, of course, showing this odd talent of mine to moved perfectly with the music, in an esthetically chaotic series of motions. One day I'll actually learn some kind of form dancing and further validate this talent...



Well, the Fasting period is over, and it was truly amazing. It's definitely still getting better every year, but I'm also still very aware that I have a lot to gain and learn from the true spiritual value of fasting. I had no trouble eating during the daytime today, though, especially that I had lunch at my favorite restaurant, down the street from my house, called Jumping J's Java. It turns out they get their veggies from this micro-farming place! plus they cook all of their stuff on location according to what goods they have; they've got the great fair-trade coffees, all kinds of international food and other products for sale; they play Putumayo's international music non-stop, and I just got a date with the server...



I read some Rumi at the Just Poetry Jam, which was very well received. I also read some lyrics from The Mars Volta, which expectedly went over all our heads. Plus I just finished the poem I will recite at the Just Poetry Slam (competition) on Monday. It's called "Home" and is pretty intense! I saw "The Forgotten" last night, which has several related themes - always cool when that happens. I also saw "The Incredibles" this weekend, which was exceptionally entertaining in its rich humor and tickling plot.



Robbie and I have been having a BLAST playing ping-pong, recently instituting mutual training, where we come up with excercises for each other to improve. These improvements have now become what we call super powers, each of us having developed a very distinct style.



At the moment, I'm thinking of going to Martinique, Mali, or China, but anything can still happen. It was definitely inspiring and helpful to have a pioneer to pray for each day during the Fast (several members of our communities had one or two pioneers to pray for during this period).



I finished my new d-Plan (a "spiritual transformation plan" which lists all the projects I'm working on at the moment, with lines of action to fulfill over the next period of time - generally 2-3 months)

Farmer --- Yippie!!! acceleration after acceleration, dear me dear me! I have almost doubled the number of weblos on my list of "to visit"s! This whole networking is fantastic!



So this whole directing a little play is moving slowly but surely. I've been in touch with just about all of the would-be performers, and we should be having just one or two practices per week between now and April 23, when it goes up. It's been just wonderful working with JoAn.


And Shawn has just done a major revision to the opening of her play, and I feel it's safe to say I really want to direct it. We've been dialoguing about it, and we'll be bouncing ideas back and forth, and most likely getting more serious about putting her play up after "In His Presence" is completed. Wow!



The poetry jam was great last night, and people really took to my performance of a Rumi piece. Great crowd, delicious coffee, beautiful words, and inspiration for the piece I'm preparing for the poetry slam in two weeks (competition).



Our visit up to Baltimore (actually Cockeysville, just past Baltimore) was just extraordinary. We were 7 driving up from Richmond, in two vehicles, for just one evening. It was a straighforward party at a Persian home, with lots of food, ping pong, foosball, hanging out, and lots of dancing (happy happy happy danio!) It's always so wonderful to see my friends up there. I got to see Nina, Ruth, Adarsh, Jacob, Sneha and Megan, and it brought such joy to my heart - especially a very spirited chat with Ruth, which lead to further thoughts and inspiration upon my return. The drive both ways was also fun, what with the energy of Shawn, Zarasun, Jasmin and David. Peter and Orion were in the other car - THE RICHMOND CREW ROLLS THICK!!



I once again substituted for the youth class at Baha'i school on Sunday, and we had a really good time. I bet it's a shocking change of flavor from when Steve Connor teaches!!



I've been studying "Perspicuous Verses", a passage where the voice of Revelation answers the questions of the doubters among men. It's fascinating and intriguing, and the text for one of the scenes in "In His Presence".



E-mail is incredible.



I still don't know where I'm going in the Fall. Summer plans are also very much up in the air, except for my week-long trip late May. Martinique? Congo? One of the many other French-speaking countries in Africa? China? Latin America? Where, oh where to go!? God willing I will receive guidance soon. And then I might still go to grad school if I'm accepted at Simon Fraser U in Vancouver.

Done --- I guess some of my posts are being lost... There doesn't seem to be any info about last weekend up... I went back up to Baltimore to see my new friends!!! There was a fantastic Ayyam-i-Ha. I've made a CD compilation for some of my friends, and was able to deliver some on time on this visit! I addition to Omid, Nina, Nikki, Adarsh, Ruth and Jacob, with whom I traveled to NEBY Fest, I met up with some of the other wonderful Baha'is I had met a few months earlier. Unfortunately, I was not able to meet up with my friend Sam from Anchorage (we both went to APU together). It was so wonderful a visit. We ate cake, hung out, and then danced danced danced - hard core! It was a packed house, and we were having ourselves a party! When I got up Saturday morning, I decided to stay to help Omid move his new couch into his dorm. That gave me the excuse of having lunch with my new friends again! I also met Sneha, who might put me into animation!



Yippie! I'm directing a musical! It's called "In His Presence", written by JoAn Martin (her and her family are a somewhat recent addition to our Richmond Baha'i community). It focuses on the lives of a few people around the time in April 1863 when Baha'u'llah revealed His Message and Station. It's so fantastic! and it involves a whole bunch of people from the community. I'm just kind of taking care of the dramatic part of the production, which will take place 4/22 I think... not much time! It was great working on it yesterday! Noel is a wonderful girl, and she and I spent a bit of time working on her motions for the song "I have wakened in Thy shelter".



The fast started on Tuesday evening. My favorite time of the year! We had a beautiful feast at Marions, for which I prepared the devotional portion. I had a delightful visit at Anita's home on Fri. She made a delicious dinner for us, and we chatted for a couple of hours. Two dinners at JoAn's home, actually - her husband Eddy cooks great food! Oh! and Thursday, after Robbie and I worked out, we went out to the Cheesecake Factory with Mishkin from Toronto - he's back in Richmond with a contract which keeps him in town on many weekdays. Wow! what a great restaurant! Wow! what great company!



Shawn, Rudy and I went out to play pool last night, which was a nice change of pace.



I'm working on my "d-Plan" - it's a personal plan which lists all of the main projects I'm currently working, updated every 2-4 months. I'm also working on my Individual Teaching Plan - to spread the Message of Baha'u'llah!



So I got the new Tori Amos album, The Beekeeper, and the new Mars Volta, called Frances the Mute. Both are exceptionally good! The Mars Volta is SO VERY CRAZY!



Everywhere, Love is All Around!

Longer --- So Thursday evening, upon escaping my last day of work for the week, I met up with Robbie. We went on a delicious escapade to a sports store to buy us some ping pong paddles! We frolicked and were quite joyous - and then we actually played ping pong! Later that night, we discovered the best sound for working out triceps (it's something like buoydeh buoydeh real fast, but it's difficult to transcribe...) We proceeded ot play a scrumptuous game of go, which went on for several hours.



Then... hahaha! Then! Then, we set off for our greatest adventure of the year (so far): Orion, Robbie and I left for Baltimore, where we picked up three more brilliant, warm souls, who accompanied us on our voyage to Stamford, CT, for the sixth yearly NEBY Fest!!! Oh, man, what a road trip! To our party were added the beautiful Adarsh (recently-declared Baha'i from India), Nina, and Ruth - all three Micah students. The latter we immediately named the Santa Maria, and Nikki, with whom we met up later, we named the Pinta! We had such a joyous time, the 6 of us. Santa Maria demanded my life-story, which I improvised for the riders, and then, each person in turn told her or his life-story, which provided splendid entertainment for most of the trip! (It was interrupted during the time we spent slaloming between steel train-track columns, terrifyingly gung ho vehicle, and positively oblivious pedestrians, within a small part of NYC.)



The two main reasons I had for attending NEBY Fest were (a) to see and meet Counsellor Stephen Birkland (there are two branches to the Baha'i administration: one is the democratically elected, which provides directives for communities, the other is composed of the "learned", including "counsellors", who are greatly deepened in the Baha'i Faith and are entrusted with the task of advising Baha'i institutions, communities and individuals - both branches sheltered under the wings of the Universal House of Justice), and (b) to expand my network of contacts - particularly performers and other artists. Both of these goals were exceeded: I had a dozen questions answered by Counsellor birkland's talk, I spoke with him personally and was infused with his regenerating energy, I met tons of people (artists and otherwise) and obtained contact information for several of them.



Many more wonderful things happened at this conference, making it altogether another addition to my collection of life-changing events. Highlights include live performances by Omnisoul and Vienna Teng, a talent show where Orion, Robbie and I each performed a poem, meeting up again with such wonderful souls as Omid, Sarah, Martin (who gave stupendous performances),Haley, Caity, Shin and Will, great dinners and lunches with different groups of friends, and even a bonus solitary time!

Of note also was my meeting with Nikki, an amazing friend I had met briefly in Baltimore, but who this time blew me away: her spontaneous, uninhibited, extravagant expressions of living exceed even mine. Never before had this central aspect of my personality been so fully reciprocated by a single individual. Hence, the two of us spent wonderful time dancing, singing, babbling, galavanting, etc. She ended up declaring her faith in Baha'u'llah on the second day of the conference, after investigating the Baha'i Faith for maybe nine months.



Over all, though, the majority of the experiences will never be told or relayed, as they continuously piled up in my mind, heart and soul, affecting the course of my life, and my perspective on existence. Perhaps many of these things... in fact, most likely many of these things will eventually be conveyed in the future performance projects I will undertake. - Speaking of which, NYU has been scratched from my list of possibilities, as my application was declined (it was a gamble from the start, as they only accept 40 students each year...)

Cancer --- Hey! where did my post from last week go?!?


I had a splendid dinner with my friend Anousheh Khalili tonight! Her new CD came out in December, so I got a few signed copies for myself and others, as well as a couple more for me to try and sell at NEBY Fest.
Yes! We're leaving for the NorthEastern Baha'i Festival on Friday, which should be a blast. Between Richmond and Baltimore, we're driving a good 10 or 11 people up to Connecticut! I'm very very very excited.




I went out clubbing this last weekend with Shawn and Rudy and his friend who was visiting from out of town. A couple of us are planning to go see Sasha up in NYU on April 1! That should be excellent. Plus Tori Amos might hold a concert in DC on April 6 (her CD comes out this coming Tuesday!).




Valentines Day turned out to be quite enjoyable! We had out "Sushi & Go" night, with a whole new set-up, and I got royally defeated. Plus I had most delightful phone conversations with three of the loves of my life!
Brie cheese works surprizingly well with other stuff on a sandwich, by the way.
Choir was awesome. I love the company. We're now working on a few songs, mostly for Ridvan (the commemoration of when Baha'u'llah publicly declared His Mission and Station).




On top of working out three times per week, Robbie and I have also picked up ping-pong again (a year-and-a-half wait since we were last able to play). The YMCA rocks.
Everyone's sick at work. It's a drag: the energy level is painfully low, but at least our new office space is nice, and I have my view (from several feet away) out the window onto the lake.




I've watched a couple of episodes of "Bleach", a recently-released Anime from Japan, which is fun, engaging, and deep, exploring among other things our relationship with the dead. Peter will be hooking me up with some more after my trip to CT.




What it is is what it is. Si six scies scient six cypres, six-cent-six scies scieront six-cent-six cypres. Si ton tonton tond ton tonton, ton tonton tondu sera. Quand ta tata tata ta tata, ta tata tatee a ete.

Everything is Everything



I wish to cry a truth from every mountain top,

Be free, be free, be free at last from its demands.



But no. Thinking it will be enough to go out merely belting from the top



of my lungs that

"EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHIN"

Is foolish drooling, sooner cooling than fueling mutual vision.

And so, these words.



Though I may look at this flower for its own solitary qualities,

The potent latent fragrance that it sends,

The failing health and ailments that it mends,

And how it bows and cowers in the winds,

All reflect the self-same beauty and the power of every flower,



proclaiming yet again that everything is everything.

'Cause if everything is everything, then each and every next thing is also everything.

This truth must be vindicated for me to reach the valley of contentment.

Oh, for the peace of knowing that "What is just is. What is just is."*



I've no choice

but to voice

without poise

but with noise

that EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING.

Like some vigilante banshee man who can't just rant his slanted rant but pants and pants a rancid chant of rampant slander!

Take a breath, but do not run.

I will speak 'til I am done,

And my words are lost to none.



A brother killed because he stands out,

Kept poppin' pills until he blacked out,

But all his thrills were just his last shout

Over the hilss to those on that rout,

To give'em chills and even cast doubt

In their minds, so that rhymes about crimes give'em time

To define the breath of death

That their brother left for them.



My bed sheets, of a green that may seem not to mean anything,

Are not clean, or obscene, nor, I deem, do they cling, neither sting;

They but lean, and thus seen do they mean everything!



For one soul I express all my love.

My dearest darling, you float far above

All the things of this world.

In fact, you are just like a pearl!

Then your love is all love - is this pearl - is the world...



I didn't cut my fingernails today... I even brought my fancy scissors home from work, and somehow now find no (or little) embarrassment admitting that I never use clippers - I guess 'cause it expresses my personality: ethical but practicle; slightly prim, but also slightly raw - kind of like the universe...



Morbid cataract clings renitent,

As Superficial acquiessence claims the insubstancial soul

Of a decrepit penitent;

A sordid reminder of the subjugating influence

Of a noncommittal attitude toward virtue

- Or even freedom.

And now he's dead, our

Profligate perspective posits

Posthumous excuses,

So we decline what the design prescribes,

Or redefine what the design proscribes.

Or do we.



Perhaps this truth is best expressed in Rumi's words:

"There is a strange frenzy in my head

of birds flying,

every particle circulating on its own

- is the one I love everywhere?"



I will now repeat the line

Until I hear someone say, "fine!"



EVERYTHING IS EVERYTHING!



*I sing "What is just is" to the tune composed by the band Lamb, on their track, "Just Is".

Sweexteen --- I was in bed 16 hours last night!!! I'm going out to get some medication.

I'm definitely going to NEBY Fest this year for the first time (a Northeastern Baha'i Youth conference). And I already know of several other people who are going as well. I will soon post the poem I performed on Monday night. It was a huge success at the 3rd Just Poetry Slam, here in Richmond at the Firehouse Theatre. There were a few friends that came to support me and Robbie (who made his first appearance on stage with his own very successful piece). Many came up to me after the performance to compliment me and even ask questions or offer commentaries! I got a very high score, too - notably a 10.0 and a 9.9! Perhaps most importantly, I got to dialogue with some of the amazing poets that were there, and extend my network of artists quite a bit.

Corse --- Robbie and I have started working out together. We'll be going to the YMCA two or three times per week. It's sexy. and crowded. and funny.


Went out to lunch with Whitney today. She is definitely very cool! I had forgotten how good Indian food can be! Tanya had recommended it some time ago. Our whole team is moving from the second floor to the first over the weekend. It'll be a welcome change for me, especially that we can finally look outside again. I'll have a decent view through two glass panes (though from some distance).


Bjork's live albums are now available on Rhapsody. It makes me so happy!


Rumi:

"There is a strange frenzy in my head

of birds flying,

each particle circulating on its own,

Is the one I love everywhere?"

Walk --- went on a beautiful hike with Martin and Shin out at Newport Park (I think). Peace and beauty all around, and pleasant company. It did not, however, satisfy my desire for silence. This desire waxes piercing with each passing month. Soon. Soon I will satisfy and be satisfied.




"Sushi & Go Night"!!! We had our first on Monday evening, and what a marvelous time! Robbie actually enjoyed sushi! (don't think he had really ever had it before). I performed terribly in the one full-size game we played, but feel I learned maybe just a little bit. Robbie will have to give me more of a handicap next time... Peter couldn't make it, but should be there this coming Monday.


SNOW!!! it snowed today, and it was beautiful


I received the book "Critical Consciousness" by Elena Mustakova-Possardt, and I am psyched to get started on it! especially that I just finished reading her 15-page presentation that she gave at the Social & Economic Development Conference, as well as Husayn Almart's "Cosmopolitanism" paper - all of which is contributing to my World Citizen Project (a rather nebulous project so far).

Anger --- I was listening to Joni Mitchell last weekend, and after a while of being infused with her emotional bouquets of reality, it hit me how powerful her music is. Then I got angry: I had so benefitted from her music in less than an hour - yet, none of my friends had ever told me, "danio... danio, you _need_ to listen to Joni Mitchell". Why? many of my friends listen to her, I'm sure. And some of them are truly moved by her. And a couple of them are bound to know that I too would be susceptible to her beauty. This experience quickly transformed into insight into the experience of some Baha'is, who have said they've gotten angry at other Baha'is they had met previously, only to later discover their Faith, which they had kept to themselves. And here I stand, guilty of withholding the Baha'i Faith, failing to convey the all-embracing Message of Baha'u'llah, which contains the cup which will saciate the thirst of each soul! I then connected with the suffering of so many people on this planet, who would certainly obtain greater ease in this life if they could benefit from the soft-flowing Word of God. God grant that I may yet embrace my purpose and potential. "God grant that the light of unity may envelop the whole world, and that the seal 'the Kingdom is God's' may be stamped upon the brow of all its people."

Cabin --- Hey! I read a new poem at the Just Poetry Jam on Monday, called angel, partly inspired by a track by Lamb, called "Gabriel". Later that night I wrote yet another, called "Everything is Everything". I hope to enter the Just Poetry Slam in two weeks with this new piece. Eric finally ran out of licorice from Germany. I tried out a new kung fu school tonight. I don't know if I'll continue there yet.

Introducing --- Leigh Katherine Polomat, my sister's new baby, born January 1 - 8.5 lbs. and about 20" (52cm). I am now twice uncle, and maybe you kind reader will send up a prayer for her joyful and spiritually rich growing and developing.

Fool --- Is it true that you can get a cold sore from lack of sleep? The new Gregorian is, as usual, actually a significant time, despite its cosmic near-irrelevance. As I have to some extent encapsulated my goals, plans, dreams and vision for the next period of my life, I am now (still summarily) attempting to scrye how things will all come together. In any case, it's a most exiting time...


I just got back from tutoring Ruhi Book 6, on Teaching the Cause (of Baha'u'llah), and I had just outline my personal teaching plan the week before - so that's a big motivation to finalize that process.


This is a big month for me, and I'm spending this whole week figuring out how the next several months will generally be scheduled.

Again --- Well... it will have to be another series of events, until the flowing of sweeter words once again will course through my fingers: left Thu for Baltimore, where I joined Omid to surprise Sarah and to meet her three amazing friends. We had a spledid, almost gaudy dinner and discussed various fun and meaningful topics, such as the meaning of life and the direction in which humanity is heading.


Then Omid and I went to visit Ganeh, a most spirited, deepened and experienced Baha'i scholar, with whom we studied the opening paragraphs of "The Golden Age of the Cause of Baha'u'llah", a letter from the Guardian of the Baha'i Faith to the believers in the US and Canadia. We also shared other precious moments, beyond telling!


Omid and I spent the day together on Fri, doing all kinds of cool stuff two friends might do together at such a fun time of the year. Then I left on Sat morning to meet up with Jason, Rebecca and his family in Freehold, NJ. We had a big lunch together, and most of the rest of the time was with Jason and I catching up with each other from having not seen each other in person for over two and a half years! It was a most glorious, joyous and magical reunion.


I'm back in Richmond now. Having put some 3,000 miles on my car in the last 4 weeks, between conferences, visiting friends, sharing the Baha'i Faith, etc., and the exciting prospect of tutoring Ruhi Book 6 this coming weekend, along with working full time, I think to myself, maybe this is the kind of schedule an Auxiliary Board Member of the Faith has year-round... and then some...


What a life! What a world!

Happy --- Well, I just got off work, and I went to work straight from driving back from South Carolina, and Florida the previous day. I spent a few days in Orlando at the amazing yearly Baha'i conference on Social and Economic Development. I feel happy, grateful and inspired beyond measure. More on this later. Now sleep!! Sleep is AWESOME too!

Martin --- I have a rather new brother: Martin. I went to visit Martin over the weekend. Martin showed great love and hospitality. Martin has friends in the theatre department at ODU (Old Dominion University in Norfolk, VA), and he took danio to watched a short film they had made, to eat their food at a party, and socialize with wonderful theatre folk. Martin invited danio to prepare a devotional program as part of a community feast - to which Martin also invited danio. Martin introduced danio to members of his Baha'i community at this feast. Martin played the guitar and sang beautifully - as Martin is much much wont to do. Martin drove danio around town. Martin brought danio to a fun-filled party with some of his friends from the music department(s) at ODU. At the party, they played board games ("Wise or Otherwise", "Taboo", and "Charades"). At the party, they also socialized and had snacks. Late that night, Martin provided a resting place for both danio and another friend, Tom. Martin prayed with danio and Tom before retiring. Martin woke danio and Tom in the morning. Martin even prepared some breakfast for them - and some tea too, did Martin make! Martin took danio to "Rise and Shine" Baha'i school, where danio met many Baha'is from the area. They were all very nice. Martin served as a tutor for a study book. Martin and danio had lunch together and talked for a very long time, just as if they were brothers. Martin is a wonderful friend. Martin.

Canvas --- I feel like I say things like this a lot, but I really feel like this last week has been just about the most amazing of the year. It's been a very very hard week, but for every trial, every difficulty, I have tried to, and in most cases succeeding in praising and thanking God, furthermore, I have received numerous confirmations that my efforts and challenges are meaningful. All praise be to God! for in addition to bestowing upon me these amazing experiences, he has even given me souls with whom I can share them - people with whom I can "build a skeleton of trust, bone by bone, stone by stone", people whose very being allows me to answer the question "Who is it that never let you down? Who is it that gave you back your crown?" people who can "Carry my joy and on the left; carry my pain on the right." And if I think of the spiritual energy in the universe, then the rest of Bjork's song that I've been quoting comes to fulfilment: "and the ornaments are going around; now they're handing them over... handing them over."



This blog is my best reminder that most of my experiences can never truly be related, and even more of them will never fit on words. Therefore, you, reader, will not have the bounty/challenge of bearing these experiences of which I am speaking. Some things can only be share heart to heart... (not that these are necessarily in the category... but I'm just saying...)

Undulate --- a couple more things from last week: Brent, Orion and I joined Peter at his father's house for a delicious pre-thanksgiving dinner. Farmville was dark, so we didn't really get a sense for it, but we were definitely there! On Thanksgiving, my parents and I joined my grandma at my uncle Mark's family home. What a fine, splendid time we had! I was immediately called upon to play something of an uncle's part to my cousins (they're between about 4 and 10!). We ran around the yard for quite a while, and I heard them talk about all kinds of things! Plus they did a puppet show for us! Then they asked me to do a puppet show - an invitation I gladly accepted! We also had desert at the Falconer home - though I didn't have much room for it. We played a large-group game of Tabou, plus socializing, and I also danced for my friends (this may become a more common practice, considering the success that ensued!)